Out of Ruins Read online

  “Night, Buffy.”

  * * *

  “Love is a funny thing,” Jules confides; backing out of the past and opening up about the private musings of her heart.

  “Sometimes it comes slowly, like the soft trickle of a wayward tear escaping unbidden from your eyes. The salty moisture trails across the tiny imperfections of your skin and makes its way down your cheek. It surprises you with its appearance, and then disappears as quietly as it came.

  “Other times it comes at you fast, like a souped-up muscle car; all blaring engine, blazing-flames-painted-on-the-side kind of fast. It grabs you and takes you for a ride, making sure everyone around takes note. It steals your breath and leaves you in the dust.”

  Her right hand fiddles with her left, her thumb rubs back and forth across her palm and her fingers absently twist an imaginary ring on her ring finger. “Love with West Rutledge was all fast, Mack truck intensity. It only took two weeks, and already I was hanging onto the grill like a splattered bug. It was inevitable. I couldn’t not fall in love with that boy.”

  Three

  “The next few days passed by much as the first, and by Thursday, everyone had pretty much stopped staring. I was happy to have almost made it through the first week of school with minimal crying and no bloodshed. Of course, a fight broke out between some students the day before at lunch, but for the most part everyone was adjusting. Or so I thought…”

  * * *

  Jules decides to stay after class for a few minutes to speak with her debate teacher about joining the debate team after a very spirited argument she has in class with a know-it-all named Chase about gun control. West is bringing her home, because what her parents don’t know won’t hurt them, so she shoots him a text letting him know she needs a few minutes extra. As she makes it to her locker, a voice rings out.

  “Hey Jules!”

  Spinning around in the almost vacant hallway, Jules searches for whoever called her name. Jogging down the stairs halfway down the hallway is Carter. She’s only seen him from a distance so far this week, and is surprised to hear him calling for her.

  She stops messing with her rickety combination lock and props up against the lockers as she waits for him to reach her.

  “Hey, I’ve been looking for you. How’s your first week on my turf going?”

  Trying to hide her shock, she answers him. “Um, hi. It’s been interesting, to say the least.”

  “Yeah, it’s an adjustment for all of us. Coach is shifting playtime this week so we can incorporate any Hillsdale players into the game. Why didn’t you join the squad?”

  When the schools decided to split up, all members of varsity fall sports were offered spots on their new school’s squads without tryouts. Jeff, Tommy and a few other guys took the opportunity to play for Rossview football, but both Katie and Jules turned down the chance to cheer. Amazingly enough, they were the only two varsity squad members who transferred to Rossview. The old Hillsdale cheer squad met briefly after the ruling was announced, and everyone gave their blessing to the girls who wanted to cheer for their new schools. Which was everyone except for Jules, Katie and another senior who ended up at Robinson. Jules begged Katie to reconsider; afraid she was only making the decision because Jules herself was so against it. Katie promised that wasn’t it at all. She said cheering without Tanya just didn’t feel right, and of course Jules agreed.

  “I’m just not feeling it anymore,” she told Carter truthfully, although she did miss it.

  “That’s a shame. I really liked those little outfits.” He winks and Jules rolls her eyes at him. “So listen, my mom wanted me to invite you by her store any time after school. We’ve got the shelves and things on the walls and the paint job looks great. I think she wants to give you something to thank you.”

  “Oh. That’s sweet, but she doesn’t have to.”

  “I know, but she wants to. Say you’ll stop by, please?” He gives her puppy dog eyes and she relents with a smile.

  “Okay, I will.”

  “Great! I’ve got to get to practice. I’ll see you around.”

  “See ya.”

  “Ladies,” he says with a whistle as he walks away. Jules pays little attention to the girly giggles she hears coming from the group of girls he just walked through. Apparently, Carter Cooper is Rossview’s version of Stuart Daniels.

  Finally popping the lock, she pulls her locker open and switches out some folders she needs for an assignment. The inside of her door holds three pictures: two with Katie and Tanya, and one with a mix of cheerleaders and football players at a mid-summer pool party. She considers taking them down, because every time she opens her locker the smiling faces looking at her cause her to get misty eyed, but decides against it. She wants the reminder of what she lost. How one moment in her life changed everything, and how she was helpless to do anything about it.

  As she stands there, she becomes acutely aware that the group of girls Carter spoke to are now bearing down on her. The smell of Bath and Body Works is ripe in the air.

  “You planning on making your way through the all-stars this year?” an extremely malicious voice drawls behind her. Jules sets her bag on the ledge of her open locker and turns slowly. Standing in front of her with her hands resting on her hips is the same little brunette cheerleader who sneered at her the first day of school.

  “Excuse me?”

  “You heard me. Don’t think you can just walk into my school and own it, princess.”

  “Oh, wow. Are you delusional or something? I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

  The girls snicker around their ‘leader’.

  “Look — you might have been the Queen bee at your little school, but here you’re just another face in the crowd. Stay away from our guys and we won’t have any problems.” She turns to her friends and mutters, “I thought she’d have more loyalty.”

  Jules drops the folder she has in her hand at that. “What’s your deal?” she explodes; taking a step towards the group.

  The brunette stands her ground, although a hand shoots out to her wrist. “You are, bitch. Stay away from Carter — got it?”

  The girls laugh and shush each other, and then pull the brunette away as two teachers come around the corner.

  Jules bends to retrieve her folder from the floor in confusion as she watches the girls walk away without so much as a glance back.

  “Don’t mind them,” a tall, slim brunette standing before an open locker a few down from Jules insists. She shifts several folders to and from her bag as she throws a smile towards Jules. “Aubrey always feels threatened by anything wearing a skirt. It’s not your fault.”

  “Aubrey? She must be the captain?”

  “Takes one to know one, huh?” the brunette replies as she shuts her locker door and swings her bag over her shoulder. Jules smiles at that. She recognizes the girl from the game against Hillsdale three weeks ago, but doesn’t know her name.

  “I’m not a cheerleader anymore,” she offers to the unknown girl with a shrug. Pulling out the binder with study questions she needs to go over, she slams her locker shut.

  “You know the drill…cheerleaders are territorial of their boys. Just do yourself a favor and stay away from Carter, and you should be fine. I’d tell you to stay away from West too, but I think it’s too late for that,” she warns and Jules sends her a questioning look. She points her slim hand behind and Jules looks over her shoulder to see West making his way down the long corridor towards her.

  “You're one of them. Why would you warn me?”

  “Aubrey’s a pain. I deal with her, but you seem cool. I’m sorry about your school, and your friend.”

  She sends Jules a half smile and turns to leave. “Wait, you knew Tanya?”

  “We partied a few times. I’m Jess, by the way.”

  “Jules.”

  “Oh, I know. Everyone knows you. That’s why Aubrey hates you,” she hints and walks a few steps backward. Then she calls out, ‘See ya West’ and gives a
little salute.

  Her parting words bring Jules’ head up to see West towering over her from behind. When she looks back at Jess, it’s to see her back retreating halfway down the hall.

  Jules doesn’t tell West about the run-in with the cheerleaders because there doesn’t seem to be a reason to. Jealous girls aren’t anything new to her and she figures in a few days she’ll be old news. That’s all she wants; to finish out school and be left alone.

  “Ready for a ride?” he asks; taking her binder and grabbing her hand.

  “So ready!”

  “Hey West?” she asks as they walk to the student parking lot.

  “Ye-es?” he drawls playfully, bumping into her side.

  “Someone said something today and it reminded me of a comment you made at the hospital that night.”

  “Uh, what comment?”

  “When my dad showed up and said the EMTs on site at Grier knew I was at the hospital. I heard you mumble that ‘Of course they knew, because everyone knows me’,” she reminds him. “Someone told me the same thing today, that everyone knows who I am. Why is that?”

  “Seriously? You do know you’re the Jules Blacklin, right? You’ve lived here all your life. You’re famous.”

  “Oh my word, shut up!” She laughs and slaps at his arm. “So have you and half the other kids here. What makes me so special, huh?”

  West stops in front of her and levels his gaze on her. “Everything.”

  She melts, rises to her tiptoes and gives him a kiss. “I’m serious.”

  “I am too. How many times have you been in the local paper? Between academics, sports, volunteer work. And you won all those pageants back in middle school, remember?”

  She flushes and covers her eyes as she recalls all the pageants she entered to be Miss Junior Texas years ago. For years she entered local, regional and state level events. At the time, she thought she might one day want to be Miss America, but when ninth grade rolled around she got tired of the scene and quit.

  “Aren’t you a former Miss Cattle Queen?” He stops and covers his mouth as if he said something shocking. “Oh, Your Majesty…should I bow before you?” West teases.

  Jules pushes him out of her way. “Screw you. There is no such thing.”

  “No? What’s one of your titles, then?”

  “You’re making fun of me. Forget it.”

  Jules grabs the helmet West let her wear before as they reach his bike; strapping it under her chin before securing her book bag on her back.

  He grabs her hips and pulls her back, and her pack gets squished between their bodies. “Everyone knows you because you’re an amazing person, Jules. You should own who you are.”

  Sighing when his fingertips tickle her hip bones with their light touch, she admits what she’s been thinking lately. “I don’t know who I am anymore. I can’t own it if I don’t know.”

  “Sure you do, you’re still the same person.”’

  “But I’m not. That tornado took everything about me away. I’m not a cheerleader anymore, I don’t do the same activities, my friends are changing and my boyfriend -” she trails off because she doesn’t want him to think that last part bothers her. “I just don’t know anymore.”

  “Then we’ll figure it out. Together,” he whispers; turning her around in his arms and kissing the tip of her nose lightly.

  * * *

  “Somewhere along the way in a matter of only a few days, West and I switched places. I never saw it coming, but like a thief in the night, my confidence was stolen from me after the tornadoes and with the start of school.” Jules adjusts herself in the chair as she recalls the acute changes in their personalities back then.

  “West, who was so unsure of himself at first, became confident and steadfast. He truly was my anchor at a time when I was sinking slowly.”

  * * *

  “Who am I?”

  Sitting across her bed later that night, Jules tries to concentrate on her arguments for debate class the next day, but finds herself contemplating West’s earlier comments. Own who you are, she repeats in her head. But who am I? Since the twister, her whole life has changed. No more Stuart, no more cheerleading, student counsel or Hillsdale High. So much of who she is, of what she loved and participated in before the twister, is no longer part of her life.

  “Who am I?” She scribbles the question on a sheet of paper in her notebook. Her blue pen creates swoops and swirls as she muses over the three words. Carried away, she’s writing the words over and over — some large and fancy, others small and precise — when her phone goes off.

  “Hello?”

  “Hey, so listen…” Katie’s voice is hesitant as it comes through the line. “I know this is the last thing you probably want to do, but will you go to the game with me tomorrow night?”

  “Ummm, the football game? You can’t be serious…”

  Jules imagines Katie’s face as she hears a puff of air being released. “Yeah, I’m serious. I want to support Jeff. C’mon, we haven’t missed a Friday night game since we were like, twelve!”

  “K, I don’t think I can. Do you really think you can sit in the stands at a game? I’m already dreading having to look at the cheerleaders and players at school tomorrow as it is.”

  “Jules!” Katie snaps, and she braces for a good old fashioned Katie fussing. “I am not about to let that damn storm take my life away, and I’m not letting it take yours, either. We’ve lost enough. We ARE going to that game, because we aren’t hiding.”

  “Who’s hiding?”

  “Remember how I told you mom took me to see that grief counselor?”

  She certainly remembers the counselor. She also remembers her parents’ constant arguments about taking her to one too. “Yeah.”

  “Well that’s one of the things she told me. I can’t crawl into a hole and give up the things I love. It would be hiding from the realities of life. We were given the chance to live, Jules. I don’t want to miss out. I want to live, you know?”

  Jules closes her eyes and thinks of just that. Living. A moment flashes into her mind…

  The air is uncomfortable; hot, muggy and clouded with dust choking her as she tries to breathe. The constant beat of a drum is playing in her head, pulsating painful beats behind her clenched eyelids.

  “If I’m going to die, just let me die already,” a voice sputters. “I’m scared, it hurts,” the voice cries. It takes a moment for her hazy senses to register the voice as her own. It’s barely recognizable, and she chokes on the rush of tears cluttering her throat, forcing their way out.

  “Jules?” His warm breath drifts over her cheek. “Jules, it’s okay. We’re okay. You just woke up, but we are going to be okay.”

  West murmurs words of comfort as Jules cries into the part of his shirt that is pressed against her face. Their bodies are tangled together now; his leg over hers, his arms holding her close. Suddenly her brain is inundated with the sounds around them. Shouts of men — not the friends who’ve been trapped with them — ring out. She deciphers their shouts as plans and orders. They are planning, thinking. Someone is here to save them.

  “I promise you, we are going to live, babe. We are living.”

  The moment fades as abruptly as it comes. We are living, West assured her, his voice strong. Throughout it all he never wavered, and suddenly she wants to live up to his bravery. She wants to live. She forces herself to make the resolution: I’m going to live, even if it’s hard.

  “Okay,” she agrees.

  “Yes?” It’s obvious by the sound of confused excitement that Katie didn’t expect her to agree.

  “Yes, let’s go to the game. But do you mind if I ask West to come too?”

  “Of course not! Thank you, Ju-ju-bee.”

  “Yeah, yeah.”

  “Speaking of West, you really like him, huh?”

  An unstoppable smile plays on her lips at the question. “I really do,” she admits happily.

  “Jeff said he’s never seen him like the way h
e is when he’s with you.”

  Jules suppresses the urge to do a happy dance. “How so?”

  “I don’t know. He just said West is finally coming out of his funk.”

  “He makes me happy, K. Makes me feel safe.”

  “He saved your life, so I can see how he would feel safe to you.” The words come from her mouth softly, and Jules can’t tell if Katie is wary of Jules’ feelings or maybe questioning them. She sounds hesitant and Jules tries to put her at ease.

  “But it’s more than that. It’s like we were meant to be…fate, kismet.”

  Katie’s laugh rings through the line. ”Serendipity?”

  “Oh! We need to watch that for our next movie night!” she insists; thinking of the romantic comedy. Serendipity: the idea of finding something of great value, something you weren’t searching for, by chance.

  Katie laughs. “It’s a deal, ‘Serendipity’ for our next movie night. Oh! Hey, Jeff’s calling. I’ll see you in the morning, ‘kay?

  “Okay, say hi for me!”

  The call ends and Jules presses the preset button for West, A.K.A. ‘Spike’ immediately.

  “To what do I owe the honor, Your Majesty?” his husky voice answers, causing Jules to burst out laughing.

  “Well normally I would have my people handle these technicalities, but I figured I’d give you a call myself tonight to see if you want to go to the game tomorrow night with Katie and me?”

  There’s a pause.

  “You sure you want to go? I know you’ve been stressing out about tomorrow with all the pep rally stuff and memories.”

  His concern warms her. “Yeah, Katie thinks we need to go and not hide…that we need to live.”

  “Okay.” He sounds unsure, like maybe he doesn’t want to go for some reason.

  “If you’re not up to it, you don’t have to come,” she offers, even as her heart plunges at the thought of going to her first game without him. She’ll do it if he doesn’t want to, but having him there will make it easier.