Out of Ruins Read online

  Tears spring to her eyes. “No she didn’t.”

  “I hate this school already.”

  “Yeah, I don’t think they’re known for their friendly student body.”

  Katie snorts. It’s a half-cry, half-laugh type of sound that brings a chuckle from Jules’ own lips. “Girl, they sure seem friendly. I’ve had to tell off two hoes already for hitting on Jeff. And that was just in the hallway!”

  Jules knows the feeling well after seeing the covetous looks West received in the parking lot and halls this morning.

  “Are we going to get through this, Jules? This year, I mean. All of the ‘last times’, and she isn’t here with us,” Katie bemoans. She closes her eyes as tears streak her face again. She’s a mess and Jules’ restraint finally breaks as she pulls her best friend into a tight hug.

  “We have to make it for her. Okay? We take every second we have and we live. We make up for the time she didn’t get.”

  “You know she would be so bored to walk a mile in our shoes, right?”

  The wild child. That was Tanya, Jules thinks to herself.

  “So we walk a mile in hers.”

  Katie pulls back from their hug with a sad smile on her face. “Deal.”

  * * *

  “Seven words. ‘So we walk a mile in hers’. Those seven words set off a series of events that completely changed my senior year.

  “With that pact, my grieving heart took on a new mission. Find closure, retrace Tanya’s steps and, understand the part of her I never knew. It had hurt the night of the tornado to realize from West that Tanya partied with him more often than I ever knew. It hurt earlier that summer when Tanya confessed to her secret relationship with Carter, and then again when Katie said Tanya was confiding in her about her love life.

  “Suddenly I was hungry for answers and understanding. It’s a downfall of mine; always curious. Never leave things unresolved. Walk a mile in her shoes…I was ready to try.”

  Two

  “How was your first day?” her mom calls from somewhere in the house. Jules drops her bag on the floor by the steps and follows the heavenly smell of cookies into the kitchen. On the counter are her mother’s famous chocolate chip cookies sitting on a smiley face platter with matching smiley face glasses, waiting for her and Jason. The plate and glasses have been around since she started Kindergarten, and Jules’ eyes water at the sight of them.

  “Mom?”

  “Coming, coming.” She hears the echo of her mother’s footsteps on the floor as she hurries in from wherever she’s been. “Sorry, honey,” she exclaims; flying into the kitchen looking frazzled and out of breath. Her normally slicked back, strawberry blonde hair is pulled up in a sloppy bun and her face is shining with sweat.

  “What in the world have you been doing?” Jules asks as she pulls out the milk and fills a glass.

  “Oh, I was working downtown today, and then I rushed home to get the cookies and things ready for you and Jase. I just lost track of time.”

  Jules knew her parents had been trying to volunteer as much as they could in the clean-up process for the town. Even though her dad went back to work, he still takes time over the weekends to lend a hand, and her mother was excited for school to start today so she could do more to help.

  “You worked downtown? Doing what?”

  “Just clean-up work. Never mind about that. Sit — tell me about your first day.” Her mom forces a smile, pulls up a barstool and pats the seat with her palm. Jules sits down and reaches for a cookie.

  This is the ritual. Her mom sits at the counter and they eat cookies, drink milk and discuss the first day of school. In Kindergarten, it was all about how she met two little girls with the same backpack as her and how they played on the big, new playground at school. In third grade, she remembered going home and complaining because Katie wasn’t in her class that year. How dare they break up the Three Musketeers? her mother protested on her behalf. She recalled middle school and telling her mom about the boys, who up until then had been sort of ‘icky’, and how they were starting to have some appeal.

  But today? Her last first day of school, where she comes home and has this conversation with cookies and milk at the counter — what can she say?

  “It was…different. It’s almost like starting high school all over again, except for the cliques are all formed and now I’m on the outside.”

  “Aw, hun, you have always been great at making friends. I have no doubt you will fit into whatever clique you choose. Granted, your father and I would prefer if you were just you.”

  “I am me, mom. I’m not looking for groups. I just want to graduate,” she admits; a huge bite of cookie filling her mouth. Her mom opens her mouth to speak and checks herself.

  “Tell me more. How were your teachers?”

  Jules goes on to tell her about the classes and the differences in the building compared to Hillsdale. She decides to tell her about the morning stop at the cemetery to see Tanya.

  “That was extremely sweet. The Riveras will appreciate that, sweetie. You said West was there?”

  She notices a slight emphasis put on West’s name when her mom says it. She told her parents about him spending last Friday with her and Jason, and how they were seeing each other, but left off the official boyfriend/girlfriend status. Her father doesn’t seem to have an opinion, and her mother just smiles about it all. She did warn her to let them know the next time she planned to have a boy spend the day at the house when they weren’t there. In other words, don’t.

  “Yeah, Katie invited him to surprise me,” she explains as her cell goes off. She’s happily surprised to find the caller ID showing West’s nickname, Spike. An actual phone call from a boy — not just a text — but human to human conversation. Unreal. Hitting the green answer button, she holds the phone up, indicates to her mom she’s going to take the call and then jumps off her stool and steps out the back door.

  “Hey.”

  “Miss me yet?”

  “Of course.” She says with a smile as she sits on the patio chair and stretches her legs out in front of her.

  “Then walk out your front door.”

  The phone goes silent and Jules jumps up; hurrying back into the house and through the kitchen, startling her mom as she flies past.

  “Jules?” she calls after her as Jules rushes to the front door. Her eyes catch a shadow through the glass windows on either side of the front door. Pulling the door open, she stops as she spies West standing there with a bouquet of colorful flowers in his hand.

  She screeches excitedly as she pushes the glass door open and throws herself in his arms. His right arm thrusts up to protect the flowers while he hugs her with his left.

  “Jules?” her mom calls again, worry in her voice, but Jules ignores her as she wraps her arms around West’s neck and holds him tightly.

  “Hi!”

  “Hey.”

  “What are you doing here?”

  He moves his hand to her waist and pushes her back gently, holding the flowers out to her. “I figured we needed to talk about today. In person.”

  “And this talk requires flowers? That can’t be good,” she replies; her voice tight. West gives her a slight shake of his head as he looks beyond her to the door.

  “Mrs. Blacklin,” he acknowledges; alerting Jules that her mom is behind them.

  “Hi, West. Nice to see you again. Jules, sweetie, I’m going to clean up quickly before Jason gets home.” She looks at her watch and then back at Jules and West. “You’re not going anywhere.” She wasn’t asking, but rather stating a fact.

  “Sure, we’ll go out back,” Jules agrees; tugging on West’s hand and pulling him into the house.

  “Your mom hates me,” he sighs once she puts the flowers in a vase and they are situated outside. They walk up the hill in her backyard to her old play set. Jules sits on a swing while West leans against the slide.

  “She doesn’t hate you. She’s just overly worried lately. I’ll talk to her.”
<
br />   She rocks back and forth in the swing, kicking her foot at the ground. She always loved swinging as a child. The feeling of flying always made her feel free…the breeze moving over her skin, blowing her hair about her face.

  West stares at her for a few silent moments with an unreadable expression on his face before finally grinning. “Tell me about your day.”

  “It kind of sucked,” she confesses, and he steps in front of her and grabs the chains on either side of her head to hold the swing still. His legs straddle hers and he looks down at her.

  “I think I owe you an explanation.”

  She tenses and her fingers tighten their grip on the swing chains as she leans back to look at him. At six foot-four he is one foot taller than her, and his shoulders are broad and muscular; tapering down to a flat waist and long legs. He towers over her as she sits there, and her insides go crazy looking at him.

  “Remember when I told you I was afraid to screw things up with you?” he asks carefully; watching her face for every expression she makes. Catching her lower lip between her teeth, she nods. “I’m not the golden boy, Jules. You get that, right?”

  “Just tell me.”

  “Come here.” He offers her a hand and pulls her up from the swing as he glances around the yard. “Climb on up,” he orders; pointing to the top platform of the play set with the striped canopy over the top.

  “Seriously?”

  “Yes, seriously. I want to sit and talk, and we need privacy to do that.”

  They both climb up and sit across from each other. West’s long legs are bent, while she’s able to stretch hers out in front of her.

  “Here’s the deal. I’m not particularly friends with many people, but I know a lot of people, you know?”

  “Parties?”

  “Pretty much. Everyone knows my dad — Carson and Austin, too — so I think they feel like they know me.”

  “So that girl, Bri?” Jules is hesitant to bring her up, but figures it’s best to get everything on the table now.

  “Bri is just a girl. We’ve partied and hung out, but it’s always been casual.”

  “You’ve hooked up with her, haven’t you?”

  “Jules…”

  “Obviously that’s a yes,” she mutters; crossing her arms. Unbidden jealousy blooms in her chest, and she’s so angry it knocks the wind out of her.

  West scoots forward and crosses his legs so he can get closer to her. He reaches out, grabs her arm and pulls it from her chest so he can hold her hand.

  “I can’t change what I did before you. Yes, I’ve hooked up with a few girls and you’re going to meet them, whether I like it or not.” He grimaces; weaving his fingers between hers and making a tight fist. “I cringe every time I think of you and Stuart together, so I get it.”

  She doesn’t bother to correct his assumption that she had even truly ‘been’ with Stuart in that way.

  “So I guess I get to endure nasty looks from every girl at Rossview because of your extracurricular activities?”

  “What? Was it really that bad? I thought maybe you and Katie were exaggerating.” He runs his fingers up and down the sensitive skin of her forearm as they talk and her brain starts to stutter. She’s having a hard time thinking of anything other than the feelings his light touch evokes in her.

  “Nope, not kidding,” she says with a sigh. “I’ve never gotten so many dirty looks in my life. You know what? I don’t really care, though.”

  West leans in and presses a quick kiss to her lips with a smile. “You told me that when we were trapped.”

  She shook her head. “I don’t remember.”

  “You gave me a list of things you’d change if we were allowed to live.” He makes air quotes as he says ‘allowed’ and she smiles ruefully, thinking about how she can imagine herself making deals and promises with God in exchange for her life. “One of those was that you weren’t going to care what people thought of you anymore.”

  Jules tries to recall the conversation but can’t. It’s sound advice, though. Advice she’s definitely going to follow after enduring the censure of people who know nothing about her all day today.

  “What about you? Did you add anything to the list with me?” Not able to stand it any longer, she presses another kiss to his lips after asking the question. His hand snakes up around her neck and pulls her closer as their breath mingles in the few inches between their lips.

  “I promised I would take care of you,” he confesses before taking her lips in a long, soft kiss.

  Later that night after taking a shower, Jules lay in bed smiling at the time she spent with West that afternoon. He stayed until Jason got home so he could say hi, and then, at Jason’s request, stayed to eat cookies with him. Her mom slowly began to soften up as she watched the way West handled her little brother. They talked about the Force and what they would do to their teachers at school if they could use the Force to compel them. Jase insisted he would make it so his teachers would never give homework, and so he’d have the best seat in class. West joked he’d use the Force to keep teachers from giving tests. Then they began to elaborate on all the silly things they could do with the Force, and the whole table laughed when Jason said he’d like to pick things up and make them fly across the room for the sole purpose of freaking people out.

  When he left thirty minutes later, West pulled her into a quick hug and whispered into her ear softly, “I’d compel you to be mine forever, if I could.”

  She clasped his back closer to her, turned into his neck and pressed a kiss under his jaw. “I think you’ve already used the Force on me. I’m not going anywhere, West Rutledge. Get used to it.”

  She felt the tension release from his body as he squeezed her a little tighter, and the depth of his feelings shock her. He placed one last kiss to her lips and left without another word. She waved from the porch as he pulled away, and her mind went back to what he told her earlier about the girls he hooked up with before her. She realized she still didn’t know a lot of things about him. She knew he wasn’t a saint, but hadn’t even bothered to let herself think about the things he was into. Since the tornado, it seemed like he was a different person than the one she’d seen around town or school the past few years. Perhaps a near-death experience changed him. She knew it changed her.

  It’s close to eleven and she is finally rolling over to sleep when her cell goes off.

  Spike: It’s the hardest at night

  Jules: Well that’s cryptic and possibly dirty. What’s hardest?

  Spike: ;) weellll…

  Jules: …

  Spike: Being without you

  Jules: Awww, I was just thinking about you actually

  Spike: What about

  Jules: All good things, I promise

  Spike: Are you upset about today?

  Jules: Not at all, I don’t hold your past against you

  Spike: When I close my eyes I see you

  Jules: <3 my mom was impressed by you today

  Spike: Yeah? Did she okay the motorcycle by any chance? I’d like to give you a ride to school

  Jules: Um, no :( she doesn’t like you that much

  Spike: Think the force would work on her too?

  Jules: Ha! Nope. Plus, you’re not allowed to use your force on anyone but me from now on

  Jules bites her lip with worry. That sounds awfully bossy, but what the hell. She’s ready to mark her territory, and if West cares for her like she thinks he does, he won’t care.

  Spike: I thought we already had this conversation!

  Jules: Um?

  He doesn’t reply. Instead, her phone rings a moment later and she answers with a whisper.

  “I have no intention of using my Force or anything else on anyone but you,” West practically growls into the phone. “I was serious, Jules. You’re my girl.”

  She smiles into the phone while asking the one thing she can’t help but ask. “Why me?”

  “What do you mean, ‘why you’?”

  “Hold
on, don’t get mad,” she begs at his angry voice. “Listen for a minute and let me explain, okay?”

  When he expels a deep breath, she continues. “I told you I’m okay with your past, and I am. But you admitted that you’ve been into having fun with no strings attached. So why am I any different?”

  “Jules…” His voice is low; sad. Her heart breaks for him as she waits for an answer. “I don’t know why.”

  “Oh.” She feels like crying. Maybe it’s PMS, or maybe it’s because she has been an emotional roller coaster today.

  “No! Don’t be upset. Tell me why you broke up with Stuart.”

  “I told you — I wasn’t in love with him anymore.”

  “Why?”

  She sighs. “Because I couldn’t get you off my mind.”

  “Again, why?”

  “I don’t know why,” she admits.

  “Exactly.”

  “It’s not the same thing…” she starts to argue, but he stops her with a small laugh.

  “Yes it is. I don’t know why this happened. Call it fate, destiny or chance. Call it whatever you want, babe, but I know it’s real.”

  The words ‘I love you’ pop into her brain. Although she wants to say them, she fights with herself over it. Not ‘I love you’ like love-love, but ‘I love you’ as in ‘I love that this is the way you feel, I love that this is who you are, that you are so honest with me’. Instead, she simply agrees with him.

  “It is real, and you’re right.”

  “Well hell, let’s get that on record, because I doubt you’ll say it very often,” he jokes.

  “Ha, ha, funny guy. You’re right in calling it fate. I think God put you there that night to save my life.”

  He grumbles a muffled curse on his side of the phone before speaking gently. “You say these things and they kill me. I wish I could hold you when you talk that way. You need to stop.”

  She yawns loudly and he chuckles at her.

  “Sorry, I’m falling asleep.”

  “Go to bed then, babe. I’ll see you in the morning.”

  “K, night.”