All That Remains Read online

“I need you to stop blaming yourself for that wreck. And for this,” she holds her scarred arm up. “I lived with the guilt of what happened to Tanya for months for no reason, so I know what I’m talking about here. We have to stop placing blame for the things that have happened and we have to move forward.”

  West chuckles. “I think our shrinks might have gone to the same school.”

  “You’ve heard this all before, huh?” She smiles and joins in with him laughing at the poster children for guilt they’ve both become.

  “Okay, so I stop blaming myself for the wreck and you let go of any guilt you have about hanging out with my brother.”

  “And, we’ll be open and honest about our feelings.” She adds that with a slight raise of her brows.

  “Can I be honest now?” he asks, stretching to the side to get closer to her in his large cab. His fingers comb through her hair as he smiles at her. “I never stopped loving you, Jules Blacklin. Those letters, I wrote you every day and sometimes twice a day? I wrote those all the while pretending I was on a vacation somewhere and you were waiting at home for me. I’m going to be nothing but honest with you and everyone else from now on. I know I kinda suck at this love thing sometimes, but I’m going to keep working on it until I get it right. You are that important to me. I won’t give up again, I promise you.”

  West blinks his eyes hard, the sudden emotion that swells throughout him taking him by surprise as Jules touches his cheek with tears flooding her own eyes.

  “That’s all I needed to hear,” she offers sweetly, bringing him in for another kiss.

  * * *

  It’s close to six when Jules and West finally arrive at the house. Carson’s and Mindy’s cars are both in the driveway and Jules clears her throat when West turns off the truck.

  “Ready?”

  “As I’ll ever be.”

  Jules pushes West to enter the house first, only to find it empty. They walk through the den and to the kitchen where they catch sight of Carson and Mindy sitting at the table on the back porch. Grabbing them each a water bottle, West pulls Jules to the glass doors and, with one last breath, they open the door and walk back out into the hot air.

  Carson sees them immediately and his face twists in confusion as his eyes trail down West’s arm to where his hand connects with Jules’.

  “It’s about time you came home, we actually waited for you to eat,” Mindy, whose back is to the house, calls out. She twists in her chair to look over her shoulder and freezes as she spots Jules.

  “I brought a guest,” West points out, squeezing Jules’ hand.

  The high pitch frequency of Mindy’s squeal could bring dogs running as she jumps up excitedly and hurries forward.

  “Jules! You’re here! You, with West, and you’re here! What?” She pulls Jules into a hasty hug and pushes her back. “What is this? West, why didn’t you tell us! Oh my gosh, I could stab you with a butter knife. You keeping this from us.”

  The craziness of Mindy’s outburst causes Jules to laugh as she tries to respond.

  “Don’t smother her,” Carson warns, standing and approaching them.

  “I need details. What are you doing here?” Mindy asks, grasping Jules’ hand and pulling her past Carson and to the table. “I mean, I’m happy you are. I just, I didn’t expect it.”

  “Hey, Mind? Can we dispense with the third degree for now? Please?” West finally asks, ignoring his brother’s look and putting his hands on his future sister’s shoulders. “I know we are all excited to see Jules here, but can we give her a little time to acclimate?”

  “West, it’s fine, I’m fine,” says Jules and Mindy smiles at her.

  “Well, I’m starving. Can we eat first?” he asks, thinking that might spur Mindy to get up and be a good hostess to their guest.

  Instead, Mindy surprises him when she pats his hand that’s still sitting on her shoulder and replies, “Sure! You two go make our plates. Jules and I will wait out here and chat.

  “Well, um…” he stammers, looking at Jules and trying to communicate without words. She smiles his way, looking comfortable, so he leaves the girls be and steps into the house.

  “What the hell, man?” he asks Carson who laughs as the door shuts behind them.

  “You know her, she gets over-excited. I could ask the same thing, though, bro. What happened? Two days ago you were moping around the house again and now she’s here.”

  “Dani happened.” He tells his brother about how Jules received the letters and how she came to him to talk. Without going into all the details, he explains how she’d been waiting for him to fight for her.

  “I told you in July to go back to Tyler.”

  “I know, I know. I was stupid.” He looks out the window over the sink as Carson fixes plates of spaghetti for them. Jules is sitting on the edge of her chair, but she’s talking animatedly and she looks at ease. “I’m not screwing this up again.”

  “Can I give you some advice?”

  West has always looked up to three people - his dad, Carson, and Austin. They are the four musketeers, always there for each other no matter what, especially after their mother died. He doesn’t hesitate to nod his head in hopes of some sage advice.

  “Date her.”

  “Date her? That’s your advice?”

  “Yeah. You two jumped into this serious mind-blowing relationship the last time and it ripped you both apart. Savor it this time. Woo her, date her, fall in love with her slowly.”

  “I’m already in love with her, man.”

  Carson shakes his head slowly. “I’m sure you think you are. West, you two are different people now than you were then. And even then you didn’t know each other. Take it from a guy who almost lost the girl of his dreams once, too. Make her fall in love with you again. The new you.”

  West vaguely recalls when Carson and Mindy split up for a few months. He remembers hearing Carson give him a good ribbing a few times, when they were together for a game, about all of the crazy things he was doing to win her back. West looks at Jules once more from the window before picking up the plates to take outside.

  Date her. A plan forms in his head and suddenly he is more than willing to follow Carson’s advice.

  * * *

  “I still can’t believe how easy that was,” Jules remarks as West drives her back to the stadium parking lot at Freemont to get her car.

  “I told you, you had nothing to worry about.”

  “They were perfect. Thank you for asking me to the house.”

  He pulls his truck into the spot next to her car and he flips the headlights off as he lets the truck idle.

  “That’s my home so I don’t have to ask next time, okay? Anytime you want to come over you just show up.”

  It’s close to ten and she covers her mouth as a yawn escapes her lips.

  “I hate letting you drive home by yourself. You could stay here, you know. I could take the couch.”

  “No way. You have a game this weekend; I can’t be blamed for you playing poorly because you ended up with a kink in your neck. You do get to play, right?”

  West smiles. When she’d agreed to come to his game this Saturday, he’d decided to be vague about his spot on the team. He wanted to surprise her with how far he’s come. Mindy agreed excitedly, already relishing being able to stand in the bleachers and watch Jules’ face for her reactions.

  “Yeah, I’ll get some snaps. You don’t have to come if you don’t want to,” he teases.

  “Not come? Of course I’m going to be there. I can’t wait.”

  Opening the door to the truck, she gives him a sad look as she slides down. West comes around the truck and finds her leaning against her door, the frown still pinned on her face.

  “Call me when you get back to your room?”

  “I still don’t have your number,” she remembers and pulls her phone out.

  West takes the phone and pulls up her contacts, his heart clenching when he sees his old number next to the name ‘Spike.’ He e
dits the entry and hands it back, looking at her shadowed face.

  “Now you do. Call me, promise?”

  “I will.”

  He presses a quick kiss to her lips before pulling away, thinking of Carson’s plan to take things slow, and says goodnight. Jules takes the cue and climbs into her car. As she starts her car and turns on the headlights, she takes a moment before she looks out the window at him; the blue dashboard lights cast a mellow glow on her face. She‘s pulling away and West takes another step back planning to go to his truck when she stops suddenly and her window slides down.

  “Hey, West,” she calls out with a huge smile on her face and he stops walking. “I love you.”

  His heart explodes as she says those three words and he walks to her car full of purpose. “Put it in park,” he orders as he approaches.

  He hears the transmission sound as she shifts into park and he pulls on the door handle yanking her car open. Swooping down, he kneels at the seat and presses an urgent kiss to her lips as his hand fumbles with her seat buckle. He pulls her from the vehicle, all the while kissing her with his hands digging into her hair and pressing against the small of her back. Carson’s words, about going slow, fly out the window as his mind replays those three beautiful words. I love you.

  “I couldn’t leave without saying it,” she murmurs against his mouth when he runs his lips from hers across her cheek and down her neck.

  “I’m glad you did. I love you, too, Buffy.”

  It’s a good twenty minutes before he lets her go again and she drives off. West drives back to the house and sits in his truck, waiting for her to call. He’s half asleep when his phone goes off.

  “I’m back in my dorm, safe and sound,” she tells him when he answers.

  “Good. I know it’s barely thirty minutes, but all of a sudden it feels like you’re across the country.”

  “I know it does. When do I get to see you again?”

  “Saturday,” he throws it out there, wondering what she’ll think.

  “Saturday? Really?” He can almost see the pretty pout she used to make to get her way with him.

  “Yes, Jules. I’m asking you on a date for Saturday. I’ll be the one on the field and we can get dinner after the game?”

  “What’s your number, anyway?”

  “Twelve.”

  “Okay, Number Twelve. I will be the girl in the stands anxiously waiting to have dinner with you. I look forward to seeing you on the field.”

  “I look forward to having my own personal cheerleader in the stands.”

  “Goodnight, Spike.”

  He sighs at her using her nickname for him again. “Night, cheerleader.”

  Twenty-Five

  Jules

  “You told him you love him!”

  Jules jumps at Cassie’s shout as they make their way to West’s game. Neither Katie nor Jess could come, so Jules had begged Cassie to go. Cassie had agreed, under one condition; Jules had to tell her about her conversation with West Wednesday night.

  Jules had kept most of what had happened to herself when she made it back to her dorm that night. Jess had nearly broken down the door in her excitement to get the whole story; Katie had filled them both in on where she’d gone and they were all eager to know what transpired.

  “You told him you love him, yet you haven’t really talked to him in what, nine months? How do you know you love him still?” Cassie asks and Jules throws a quick glance at her friend.

  “I never stopped loving him.” Cassie’s face is full of questions as Jules tries to explain the connection they have to no avail.

  “I guess I don’t get it. I’ve never even been close to falling in love.” She says it as if she’s brushing a speck of dirt off her shirt.

  “Really? Never?”

  “Nope.”

  “So you weren’t kidding when you said you really don’t want to have anything to do with guys, huh? Have you never had a boyfriend?”

  “Nope.” Cassie laughs when Jules frowns. “Don’t look so sad about it. You don’t know how much crap I’ve dealt with from my mom and men. I’m not kidding when I say I have no interest.”

  “One of these days some guys is going to sweep you off your feet.” Jules points out as they inch along the highway with the rest of the traffic heading to Freemont’s game. “I just hope I’m around to see it.”

  “Don’t hold your breath.”

  Jules drops the subject as they pull into the parking lot.

  “I’m pretty sure I told you I had no desire to go to another football game, I can’t believe I let you drag me here,” Cassie grumbles as they park and Jules pulls out her phone.

  She sends Mindy a text letting her know they’ve arrived before they get out and make their way to the ticket gate.

  “So, Mindy and West’s older brother, Carson, will be here right? What about his dad?”

  “His dad? You know Mr. Rutledge does commentary for A&M games for the school, right?”

  Cassie gives Jules the most ‘are you kidding me’ look she has ever seen and Jules slaps her own forehead.

  “Duh,” she laughs. “I guess that was a no-brainer. Their dad played for A&M and went on to play in the NFL, too. He coached until their mom got sick. After that, he stayed home for a while and took care of the boys. I guess he’s been broadcasting for the past three years or so,” Jules explains. “So he travels to all A&M’s games.”

  “Did you know their mom? I mean, you knew their family growing up, didn’t you?”

  “I did. I cheered for the pee-wee teams and all the way up until senior year. I remember cheering for teams West was on a few times. His mom was amazing. She always brought cookies and hot chocolate thermoses on cold game nights. That’s all I really recall about her, though.”

  “I guess I can see how you can love him. You’ve grown up with him. It’s sweet.”

  “Yeah. Well, between you and me there was a time there when he was all bad-boy-recluse after his mom’s death that I didn’t speak to him. At the time I thought myself above him. I kinda hate myself for that now.”

  “I can’t see you as one of those people.”

  “A bitch?” Jules asks as she spots Mindy and Carson and waves at them.

  “Ha! No, well, I mean, yeah. You don’t strike me as a mean girl.”

  Jules looks at Cassie with a serious face. “I wasn’t really, but I hung out with them. My life was all about social stature and having the perfect boyfriend, and the perfect look.” Jules shakes her head and takes a step forward. “Let your whole life flash before your eyes and you’ll be amazed how much you change,” she adds as she greets Mindy and Carson with hugs.

  * * *

  “Hey, Jules.” They’re sitting in the stands waiting for kick-off when Carson leans around Mindy to grab Jules’ attention. “Send West a text.”

  “A text? What’s wrong?” She asks confused as she pulls her phone from her back pocket.

  “Nothing. It’s tradition. Dad has the game down to a science. He always sends one last text before game time. If you do it now, West will see it when he checks his phone one last time.” He winks at her,”Trust me.”

  The thought of sending him a word of encouragement fills her heart with joy and, just as quickly, her head with fear. The pressure to send him the perfect note is thrust upon her and she waffles, looking around at Mindy, Carson, and then Cassie.

  Cassie shrugs, “Got a nude pic on there?”

  “No!” Jules cracks up and Mindy chokes on her drink. Fortunately, Carson is talking to the guys on the other side of them and doesn’t hear the suggestion. Thinking hard of something inspirational, she types him a message:

  Jules: We’ve been on a boat, you and me. You were my anchor when I needed someone to keep me from sinking into my guilt. You were my strength, my compass, when I needed someone to help steer me through the roughest parts. And now you’re the sails. Your very presence lifts my spirits and propels me forward to a place I know we both want to be. I’m in
the stands cheering for you, Number Twelve. Good luck! xoxo

  “I think I just threw up a little in my mouth,” Cassie whispers into Jules ear as she hits send.

  “Shut up!”

  “That was some sappy shiz-”

  “Another word and I’ll start sending every frat boy and ball player I know to your door for dates,” Jules interrupts Cassie with a playful sneer effectively cutting her off.

  Looking over Jules, Mindy laughs and adds to the conversation. “Those two have always been full of sappy romance. Did she tell you how West took her to The Century Tree?”

  “Noooo, she didn’t tell me that.”

  “It was cute…” She budges closer to Cassie so she can fill her in on the one visit Jules had with them last year when she and West went to the campus and walked under the tree; legend has it that if a couple walks under the tree they will get married. As Mindy is finishing up and the marching band is finishing the opening song on the field Jules phone goes off.

  Sinking to her seat, as everyone else remains standing and cheering, she reads a text from West:

  Spike: I expect a victory kiss in about four hours! Fence behind team bench, be there.

  Jules laughs at his order and presses her hand to her chest to slow her racing heartbeat. It doesn’t slow once the entire game. Her biggest shock comes when she watches number twelve take the field for Freemont’s first snap.

  “Um, Carson?” she shouts over the crowd noise around her as she slaps at Cassie’s arm and grabs her in excitement. “Why is West on the field? He’s getting the start?”

  Mindy and Carson laugh, pulling her gaze from West for a brief moment.

  “He’s been the starter -” Carson informs her with a nonchalant shrug.

  “He’s the what? He didn’t tell me, he… he said he might take a few snaps.”

  Mindy smiles at her. “He wanted to surprise you.”

  “Surprise me-”

  “He’s amazing, Jules,” Carson interrupts her. “He was always the most talented player in the family.”